To win an Election
Recently I saw a quote,on a website, attributed to Josef Stalin: "Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything." Now I don't know for sure if this is actually something he said but a few exceptions immediately came to my mind.
One is that of Bihar. In Lalooland, those who cast the votes do actually decide everything. The catch? Those who do cast the votes are not the ones actually supposed to be casting them. Booth-capturing is so rampant that one is led to believe that Laloo does not wish to leave anything to the counters, whatever Stalin may say.
Another is that of West-Bengal. A few years ago I had a Bengali roomie. He used to tell me hilarious stories of entire villages mysteriously losing electricity if they voted against the ruling Communists. The electricity used to come back just as mysteriously when they voted for them in the next election. Only later did he assure me that the stories were not fiction but actual facts. It would seem that the Commies also did not wish to take any chances.
Another big election which immediately came to my mind was the 2000 US Presidential Election. Had Stalin been alive to witness that one he would surely have made changes to his quote. Because neither the casters nor the counters decided that one. The US Supreme Court did. This does not happen even in India. Now another big election is looming before us. The one in Iraq. Lets see who decides that one. One thing however, I am sure of. If the Iraqi leaders like Ayatollah Sistani show the foresight and wisdom to actually participate in the process, they can easily ensure that all US backed candidates lose their deposit. Wonder what Stalin would have said to that?
Let me finish with a joke about another one of Stalin's alleged quotes. This one is set in the Cold War Russia.
Once a very important and top-secret Communist convention was being convened in Moscow. Somehow the CIA was able to infiltrate a mole into the meeting. A few hours into the meeting, the KGB got wind that there was a mole in there. Within 5 minutes they had apprehended the mole. When asked how he achieved this astoundingly quick success, the KGB chief replied, "Stalin once said, the enemies of the Communists never slept (Meaning of course that they tirelessly worked to destroy Communism) ..... and that mole was the only one awake in the convention."
One is that of Bihar. In Lalooland, those who cast the votes do actually decide everything. The catch? Those who do cast the votes are not the ones actually supposed to be casting them. Booth-capturing is so rampant that one is led to believe that Laloo does not wish to leave anything to the counters, whatever Stalin may say.
Another is that of West-Bengal. A few years ago I had a Bengali roomie. He used to tell me hilarious stories of entire villages mysteriously losing electricity if they voted against the ruling Communists. The electricity used to come back just as mysteriously when they voted for them in the next election. Only later did he assure me that the stories were not fiction but actual facts. It would seem that the Commies also did not wish to take any chances.
Another big election which immediately came to my mind was the 2000 US Presidential Election. Had Stalin been alive to witness that one he would surely have made changes to his quote. Because neither the casters nor the counters decided that one. The US Supreme Court did. This does not happen even in India. Now another big election is looming before us. The one in Iraq. Lets see who decides that one. One thing however, I am sure of. If the Iraqi leaders like Ayatollah Sistani show the foresight and wisdom to actually participate in the process, they can easily ensure that all US backed candidates lose their deposit. Wonder what Stalin would have said to that?
Let me finish with a joke about another one of Stalin's alleged quotes. This one is set in the Cold War Russia.
Once a very important and top-secret Communist convention was being convened in Moscow. Somehow the CIA was able to infiltrate a mole into the meeting. A few hours into the meeting, the KGB got wind that there was a mole in there. Within 5 minutes they had apprehended the mole. When asked how he achieved this astoundingly quick success, the KGB chief replied, "Stalin once said, the enemies of the Communists never slept (Meaning of course that they tirelessly worked to destroy Communism) ..... and that mole was the only one awake in the convention."
posted by Avinash | 4:25 PM
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